Wednesday, November 23, 2016

The Science Defeating an Addiction


When you defeat an addiction you've been battling for a very long time, you get a strong sense of strength and confidence. Our brain tries to trick us into indulging in our addictive behaviors with a short sense of reward but over time our mind becomes a slave to comfort. In order to take full control of our minds and live our lives of our dreams, we must step outside of our comfort zones and learn to say no to these temporary rewards that tempt us in our everyday lives.

Habit is a very powerful thing and it is the main driving force of what we choose to do in our average day. Through habit, many of our decisions are made quickly and without much conscious thinking behind them. This means that you have to be very aware of the habits you're building up and the lifestyle you're training your brain to live. If you choose to keep indulging in behaviors that bring temporary rewards then you will eventually become dependent on these rewards. Your actions can become as addictive as any other drug. The mind is just a sequence of chemical reactions caused by the emotional feelings it is exposed to.

By understanding how your mind works and what causes you to make bad decisions you can begin to become a complete master of your conscious. Your mind is the government of your own world in which you make the rules. When you function in this manner you can essentially obtain anything you want in this world, and those around you will notice the strong sense of control you have over your life. It's a really good feeling when you step outside of your old 'negative zone' and begin to experience feelings and thoughts that you only dreamed of as a small child. These dreams were truly obtainable all along, it's just we forgot what truly matters to us.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

My Ongoing Struggle with Porn Relapse

Over the past few weeks, I have been in an intense and constant battle with my porn addiction. I have relapsed several times, and I'm finding it extremely hard to control myself, even when I know I'm about to do something I'll regret. I think self-control is one of the main problems that many guys struggle with when trying to cut pornography. One moment you're fine and on the right track, the next moment you're spiraling out of control and trying to hold yourself back from committing a regretful deed.

I can actually recall a specific porn relapse that I had a few days ago, which I concluded was the result of feelings of loneliness and guilt. When these emotions kick in, I have a really hard time controlling myself. I start blaming others for my depression as well as blaming myself, and I give up hope for improving my life, and eventually just give in to my porn addiction weakness. I know that I will feel better for at least an hour or 2 after I masturbate to porn and orgasm, so this is what ultimately leads me to relapse.

I also often find myself edging without even knowing how I started in the first place. It really does happen so fast. I read a theory on how our brain has 2 mechanisms. The first 1 is often referred to as our "old brain", "Reptile Brain", and the second mechanism is referred to as the new brain. The Reptile Brain is highly impulsive and quick thinking. It does exactly what it thinks it needs to do in order to survive, and it does it quickly, and without much thought process. This is the mechanism of our brain that I think is responsible for porn addiction. The new brain mechanism is the more spiritually enlightened side of our brain. It allows us to think in more creative and abstract ways, instead of acting on impulse. It also helps keep our Reptile brain in check, by determining the pros and cons of the decisions we need to make.

My goal for the next few weeks is to try to be more in touch with the more spiritually enlightened aspect of my mind. When an impulse comes, I will acknowledge it, but I will not let it dictate my thoughts and decisions. This is the only way I'm going to free myself of this addiction.

Monday, October 17, 2016

My life Story of Porn Addiction and how It has Ruined my Life

     
      Back when I was in grade school and we started learning about sex, I specifically remember a teacher telling the class that masturbating was healthy. From then on I adopted this notion and decided that it was okay to masturbate whenever I pleased. fast forward 2 years later and I was in the 7th grade. I had just started masturbating and soon after that, I unfortunately discovered the addicting and traumatizing world of high-speed internet pornography.

      Being in the 7th grade I was shocked to soon learn that many other kids had discovered this 'internet porn thing' as well. I would occasionally talk with friends about cool porn sites I had found, and what they offered. I actually even remember telling a teacher that I watched porn online, and I remember him telling me "you shouldn't do that, you can get into trouble for that". I didn't quite understand what he meant by that, but I would later learn that in a way he was right.

      Fast forward another 6 years I was 19 years old and out of High School. I was still using porn quite frequently, and it had become a very normal part of my life. At this point, I had still not realized that it had become a problem(although it clearly had). Although I had been single for a long time, and had trouble talking with girls I found attractive, I had never made the connection to this with my porn addiction.

      Still being around 19 I had developed some erectile dysfunction, and I decided to stop masturbating to porn for a while out of suspicion. I quickly regained my sexual ability, and It wasn't long before I started developing more confidence in talking to women. Not only was I able to speak more confidently with women, but they seemed to like me back which was not normal for me. However, even after all these good things happening I still went back to porn due to boredom and loneliness.

      Here I find myself about 6 years later, and I'm still battling with this addiction to porn. After beating countless drug addictions, this addiction managed to somehow slip by, and it was the most deadly. I've decided that it's time to stop for good, so I'm quitting porn and taking control of my life again. I've come to realize that porn is just like any hard drug. It gives you that feeling of temporary relief, however, in the long term, it leaves you lonely and miserable.

      This journey will not be easy, but it's the only way out. I'm 100% sure that ridding myself of his addiction is the best step I can take in my life. If I went back in time and told my 7th grader self that porn would be so destructive, I probably would laugh at the notion. It's amazing how harsh the lessons of life can be. There are only 2 options though, learn them and improve your live, or continue to make the same mistakes and regret it on your death bed.